Greg Storey

Five Questions

This is the ninth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Greg Storey of Airbag Industries.

  1. You are the most powerful state-backed fight promoter in the
    world, with executive authority to procure whoever you wish for fights
    via any means necessary. Entire armies are at your disposal, money is
    not an issue. What is your next big-ticket event?

    A no limits, ultimate fighter, thirty-foot tall cage-match featuring
    Tom ‘The Sonogram’ Cruise, French President Jacque Cirac, Jabba ‘Dick
    Cheney’ da Hutt, Kanye ‘White People Suck’ West, and all the former
    corporate officers at Enron. Fight!

  2. How would you go about constructing the perfect sandwich?

    I outsource most of my food production but if I had to make a
    sandwich, a perfect sandwich, it would most certainly entail the use
    of unnatural creamy peanut butter (me hates the crunchy), bananas,
    and a single, individually wrapped slice of Kraft American cheese on
    Wonder white bread. All with Tang to wash it down. Now that’s good eats.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    Kittens, no contest.

  4. What’s the dumbest thing that you’ve done in the pursuit of happiness?

    Selling an item thinking I could go without it only to replace it a
    month later.

  5. Can you entertain a popular conspiracy theory, given the words:
    clown, fetish, monarchy and turgid?

    Well duh, it’s common knowledge that Dick Cheney has a fetish for
    clown makeup and he is working through Haliburon to one day rule the
    turgid lands of Ameriraq as a monarchy, in full-on Bozo regalia.

Pimp two websites:

  • Newsdesigner – The printed news is far from dead and it’s beautiful
    to look at to. News Designer keeps us abreast of the latest fashions
    in fish wrap.
  • Evenings On The Lake – A treasure trove of glory from the past. I
    don’t know where this person finds the stuff but I love it, all of it.