Zach Inglis

This is the fourteenth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Zach Inglis.

  1. What’s your favourite mode of transportation?

    Telekinesis. I like to fly to all my meetings. Get lots of fresh air, doesn’t
    pollute the atmosphere and general all around fun.

  2. How often do you listen to music?

    Not as much as I used to but a damned lot. Mostly listen to TV while I
    work, keeps me refreshed. With music, I listen to the same song until I start to
    hate it.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    Puppies. Have 4 at the moment and they just have way more character than any cat.

    NOTE: To the cat lovers out there, please don’t send me death threats.

  4. Can you construct a brief narrative using the words: exaggerate, fortuitous, pander, robot and waffle?

    I once knew a robot of gigantic stature. Being enormous and
    speaking with a lisp, he was very self conscious. After 4
    years of doing nothing but stomping farm animals, he decided that he’d do something more
    with his life and build up his confidence. So, he sat down to think — he could be
    a chef, a waffle house chef at first, and then work up the ranks. But he didn’t want to pander to
    the breakfast crowd. He had been very fortuitous in life and excelled at anything he did.
    We could exaggerate, but he recited Pi… backwards.

    Wow, think I could write a book about him?

  5. How do you think?

    Usually 10 times at once. Many thoughts going through my mind at any given time.

    The question I want to know is how do I not think? It’s a mystery to me still.

Matt Brett

This is the thirteenth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring Matt Brett.

  1. Given a temporal observation bubble, what historical event would you choose to watch?

    Being a World War II nut, I think I’d have to say The Battle of the Huertgen Forest (Hill 400) 1944-1945 – provided my bubble could last a few months. It wasn’t one of the more ‘famous’ battles during WWII, but definitely one of the crucial points and something like 30,000 Americans died trying to capture it.

  2. What’s the coolest toy you own?

    I’ve got a bunch of those Todd McFarlane’s Dragons. Man, those things are rad as hell! Besides those, my Xbox 360 would probably classify as a toy and it’s pretty awesome.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    I don’t think I can take sides any more. I’ve always been a dog person – grew up with a couple Boxers and my Mom still has 3. Absolutely love those dogs. But our cats (Shiznit and Gaius) are amazing and I just love them.

  4. How many hours of sleep do you average?

    I’ve been doing pretty good lately – around 7, give or take.

  5. What three games do you find yourself playing again and again?

    Half-Life 2, Call of Duty series (currently replaying COD2 on the 360) and the Need for Speed series.

Bryan Veloso

Five Questions

This is the twelfth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Bryan Veloso of Avalonstar.

  1. What two meals will you never get sick of?

    Chicken Fried Rice w/ Sweet & Sour Chicken.
    White Rice, Sausage Links & Corned Beef.

  2. Are we actually automatons in a giant machine?

    If yes, then whoever is the cause of all this is a pretty smart guy. Also if yes, I’m requesting my own mecha.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    Dude, I have 3 children kittens. So definitely kittens. Although, we are looking at getting a puppy.

  4. What video games are you playing right now?

    Wild Arms: Alter Code F (for PS2) & Burnout: Revenge (for 360)

  5. How far back can you remember?

    When I was 2, living in Jersey City, NJ.

Pimp two websites:
Broken Kode,
Tim Benzinger

Mario Garza

Five Questions

This is the eleventh 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Mario Garza of robotplague.

  1. What video game offers the closest approximation to the way your brain works?

    Katamari Damacy. The way the Katamari is always changing, never stopping and persistant I’m sure can relate to my noodle somehow. Wait, no it’s just the first game I thought of.

  2. Who would you want to see in a steel-cage match?

    Can I? Yes. Plausible, witty or clever? No. (I thought about it but couldn’t muster up anything worth mentioning).

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    Kittens (my other site:

  4. What superpower do you want?

    I’ve debated this many times before, actually. I narrowed it down to either flying or invisibility.
    Being the pervert I am I would say invisibility.

  5. If you could buy the rights to any three songs, what would they be
    and who would you get to play them?

    A question that could go on for pages. I’m pretty horrible at song titles, so I’ll just name the artists/bands. Minor Threat, Pig Destroyer, Link 80, Catch 22, Streetlight Manifesto, Arsis…I’ll throw in some Dead Kennedys as well.

Pimp two websites: OneStarOff, Robot Plague.

Matthew Good

Five Questions

This is the tenth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Matthew Good of Mblog.

  1. It’s after midnight, you’ve just arrived home, deep in the throes
    of hunger — what do you make to eat?

    Cheese and onion sandwich with loads on mayo and hickory sticks.

  2. What’s the stupidest New Year’s resolution you’ve ever made?

    When I was single – that I’d stop sleeping around.
    Now married for 3 years – that I’d stop sleeping so much.
    Oh the irony.

  3. Puppies or kittens?


  4. Ignoring implausibility (money, power, reality), what two public
    figures would you choose to have duke it out in a chessboxing match?

    Either Briana Banks or Sky Lopez. Them vs me. If that’s possible within the regulations of the sport.
    Nude preferably as well, though I’d think it would just need to be them.

  5. What makes you happy?

    Nice fronts and backs.

Pimp two websites:

Greg Storey

Five Questions

This is the ninth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Greg Storey of Airbag Industries.

  1. You are the most powerful state-backed fight promoter in the
    world, with executive authority to procure whoever you wish for fights
    via any means necessary. Entire armies are at your disposal, money is
    not an issue. What is your next big-ticket event?

    A no limits, ultimate fighter, thirty-foot tall cage-match featuring
    Tom ‘The Sonogram’ Cruise, French President Jacque Cirac, Jabba ‘Dick
    Cheney’ da Hutt, Kanye ‘White People Suck’ West, and all the former
    corporate officers at Enron. Fight!

  2. How would you go about constructing the perfect sandwich?

    I outsource most of my food production but if I had to make a
    sandwich, a perfect sandwich, it would most certainly entail the use
    of unnatural creamy peanut butter (me hates the crunchy), bananas,
    and a single, individually wrapped slice of Kraft American cheese on
    Wonder white bread. All with Tang to wash it down. Now that’s good eats.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    Kittens, no contest.

  4. What’s the dumbest thing that you’ve done in the pursuit of happiness?

    Selling an item thinking I could go without it only to replace it a
    month later.

  5. Can you entertain a popular conspiracy theory, given the words:
    clown, fetish, monarchy and turgid?

    Well duh, it’s common knowledge that Dick Cheney has a fetish for
    clown makeup and he is working through Haliburon to one day rule the
    turgid lands of Ameriraq as a monarchy, in full-on Bozo regalia.

Pimp two websites:

  • Newsdesigner – The printed news is far from dead and it’s beautiful
    to look at to. News Designer keeps us abreast of the latest fashions
    in fish wrap.
  • Evenings On The Lake – A treasure trove of glory from the past. I
    don’t know where this person finds the stuff but I love it, all of it.

Dave Shea

Five Questions

This is the eighth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Dave Shea of mezzoblue.

  1. What are you most proud of?

    I’m a fairweather photographer. I recently bought more camera than I
    know what to do with. I had to justify it somehow. I shot my aunt’s
    wedding on a vinyard in British Columbia’s wine country a few months
    back. I showed her the gallery the other day. Her comment: “We’re
    absolutely blown away. Every picture is just so full of life, the set
    really captures the moments of the day.” That was cool to hear, I guess
    I’m getting the hang of it.

  2. From your experiences living in Canada, can you provide some tips for dealing with the great spring igloo thaw?

    Here in Vancouver, which is really just San Francisco north when you
    think about it, the temperatures never get cold enough for igloos in the
    first place. What’s like ice, but doesn’t melt? Glass! So we live in
    these great glass buildings instead, which for some reason never have
    air conditioning.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    I don’t even like veal, okay?

  4. Who or what influenced you the most growing up?

    A mustachioed italian plumber, his brother, and a few of their Mushroom
    Kingdom friends.

  5. Given a 24 hour time constraint, how would you spend $1 million?

    1. Cessna & flight lessons.
    2. Island home in the Bahamas.
    3. Pre-pay a lifetime supply of cerveza.

Pimp two websites:

Khaled Abou Alfa

Five Questions

This is the seventh 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Khaled Abou Alfa of Broken Kode.

  1. You find a magic talking walrus. It grants you two wishes with the
    stipulation that one gives you something and the other takes something
    away. What do you tell the walrus?

    I love this question, but I’m going to cheat a bit with my reply. The thing I’d like it to give me is the power to control time. I don’t have enough of it. What I’d like the cute little magic walrus to take away would be world hunger. If it’s something that’s personal to me then probably my excess body fat.

  2. How do you relax?

    Since I don’t watch TV, relaxing involves a nice cup of coffee and sketching/doodling my next project.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    Puppies without a doubt. Hell it’s got to be dogs over cats. Where’s the loyalty in a cat? Where’s the love of a cat? I’ll tell you where, somewhere else.

  4. It’s the future. All international, corporate and personal
    conflicts are fought in giant mechs (think Robot Jox). Can you describe your next battle?

    I get into Spindler which is a cross between a mechanical lizard and a chainsaw. Spindler whispers to me strategies and methods for breaking the opponent’s supports, I listen intently. This is a very important battle. The outcome determines the sanity of millions of people around the globe. We’re not fighting for money, we’re not fighting for land. We’re fighting for the chance to rid the world of all those no-talent, no-soul, wino, bungholes who refuse to stop releasing crap ‘pop music’ based on boy bands and girl groups.

    Like I said, it’s a very important battle. One I don’t aim to loose.

  5. What are your three favourite cartoons?

    Robotech, Thundercats and Batman: The Animated series (the first one with Paul Dini et al from the early/mid 90s).

Pimp two websites:

  • Solution Watch – Bryan is a machine that does not sleep. He writes excellent reviews about all sorts of things like 5 seconds after they’re released.
  • James Jean – easily one of the most talented artists in the world today.

Paul B. Drohan

This is the sixth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Paul B. Drohan of D5ive.

1 – You wake up one morning and discover that everyone in the world has your face: what’s your first thought?
Scary because I love diversity and women are way more beautiful than us men.

2 – If you were capable of being in two places at the same time, what would you do?
I would be surfing and playing with my three awesome kids.

3 – Puppies or kittens?
I guess kittens. I like the how curious they are.

4 – The time seems to go backward, so you’re becoming younger: what would you be like in your past-future?
Less afraid to do things different and risky.

5 – What are your top three songs for afternoon?
“Dancing Days” – Stone Temple Pilots
“Simple Man” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
“We’re In This Together” – NIN

Pimp two websites


Joen Asmussen

Five Questions

This is the fifth 5Q interview for Seal Club, featuring
Joen Asmussen of NoScope.

  1. If you could have some sort of crazy bionic extension, what would it be?

    I’d love to be able to have a gadget in my head that allowed me to accurately control a computer using only my mind. I’m of the opinion that all people are born with an inherent creativity whose artistic expression is only limited by their mastery of the tools of the trade. Being able to skip the tools and jump into manipulating the end result directly with your mind, I think, would allow people to succeed faster and better in mimicking that which they see in their minds eye.

    On the off chance that this doesn’t count as a “bionic extension” in context of this interview, I’m gonna say a bionic arm that telescopically increases my reach ten-fold. Goodbye out-of-reach cookie jars.

  2. Can you describe your ideal breakfast given a fully-stocket kitchen?

    Rye bread with a slice of cheese and a huge glass of not-apple juice. It’s all you need, really: ideal. Oh, and coffee with milk.

  3. Puppies or kittens?

    Even though I’m allergic to both, I’m gonna say kittens. Definitely kittens. Did you know the myth that Egypt once won a battle by releasing thousands of cats on the battlefield? The enemy fled at the sight of these fierce creatures. You don’t hear those myths about dogs, do you?

  4. What reading material would you want if you were stuck somewhere
    for a few hours?

    Right at this moment, Blake & Mortimer the comic. 50ies Sci-Fi at its best. Any other time I’d say a book by Arthur C. Clarke.

  5. What position would you like to have in the Shadow Government?

    Foreign Minister. In the event of apocalypse or a military coup, I’d focus on openness to the world and emphasize love, cooperation, peace and harmony for all as the way only way to move forward.

Pimp two websites:

  • Penny Arcade – Gabe and Tycho never fail in cracking me up. I love the teamwork between the two artists; it’s clearly visible how they’ve both respectively grown in skill over the years.
  • Wikipedia – I know Michael (5Q Interviewee #2) somewhat already mentioned this, but it’s worth mentioning again. I love that I’m able to read a quality Wikipedia article on an obscure topic such as “The Electric Universe” (a concept which I, by the way, find fascinating even if it’s bogus). I especially love how sometimes I’m warned in big red letters: “might not be true”, or “locked until controversial issues are resolved in the discussion”. If only all public information was this civil.